New Home

Its strange to walk into my house here and realize that it is now supposed to be my home. I do not know where to put anything, how to stay cool, or even how to keep myself remotely busy for the 16 hours I am awake everyday. I sleep a great deal more here, and sweat a lot more as well. I cannot make any food that is even remotely appetizing, and typing on this African keyboard is proving to be one of my largest challenges of the day. But no matter how strange, ridiculous, hot, or noisy my life has become, I am sticking with it.
I have not much time to write about everything right now, however I should in the next couple days. I am writing today a simple and short message to let you all know that I am alive and safe; from what I know... I am beginning my job this week and will hopefully be getting into the swing of things here soon. I will be trying to keep myself busy for the next couple months as I know they are without doubt going to be the most difficult. What honestly helps is hearing from home, in any way possible. This will hopefully be the first and last time I plead with all of you to remember to send me paper mail and call me from skype. I know that you are all busy but even a silly email, or short note in the mail would make my day. I must go seeing as my hour at the internet cafe is almost done. I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the fall. Watch the Cubs games for me and keep me updated on the playoffs. I am trying to figure out a way to watch or at least listen to the series online when the Cubbies get there. And yes I said when!!!! I love and miss you all!!

It is amazing just how much has happened since the last time I published a post; and a while since I actually included details about my daily life. So here begins the chronicle of my being from Keleya to Djenne.

We left homestay in Keleya on Sunday September 7. The week preceding our departure was somewhat stressful in the sense that we had a great deal to do while at the same time we were all losing our drive and ability to concentrate. Even though it was stressful, I do feel as though my last week at homestay was when I bonded the most with my host family. By my departure I was able to communicate relatively well with my host mother, and initiate what I would consider a strong friendship. Although we do not speak the same language by any means, we were able to communicate in our own way; through gestures, Frambara, and facial expressions. I was even able to communicate to her that I am capable of pulling my own water from the well (FINALLY) and make a joke about our worker girl getting fat. And yes, my family actually laughed at the joke a great deal; apparently I am more entertaining in Bambara than I am in any other language. In addition, within the last week our worker girl, Bi, and I began to truly bond. There was one night in particular where she specifically sat next to me while making dinner and rested her head on my shoulder. This action in particular showed just how much she was beginning to care for me since there is little to no daily contact with other people in Mali, other than a handshake. We were supposed to have a party the day before we left, however with it being Ramadan the community did not think it appropriate to have a celebration during such a conservative and significant holiday. Instead we had a meeting with the elders of the village, and a representative from our respective host families to discuss our integration into their community. It was touching to hear all the wonderful things our families had to say about us, and I honestly felt that we did make a small impact on each other’s lives. The morning that we left had to be one of the hardest days we have spent in country because I did not realize just how my family would react, and I know that the other volunteers were all effected more than they expected as well.

I decided to wake up early before everyone else that Sunday morning and watch the sunrise over Keleya. It was a wonderfully peaceful morning and I was glad to have extra time to spend with my family before breakfast. We had our usual bread, peanut butter, and tea and I sat and “talked” with my mom for quite some time. When it was finally time to go I said all the blessings and thank yous I knew to my host grandma and father walked me to the van. It was at this point in time I realized just how much my host mom was going to miss me. I wish that she had an easier life, or that I could teach her to be literate in any language. Or that I could just take her with me back to the States. I know that I have said it before but she does not get enough credit for the amount of work that she does, and the strength that she does it with. I know that I learned a great deal from her, and when I think about just how hard my days are here I can look to her as an example of strength and compassion.

Once we had loaded the truck I looked up and noticed that both my mom and Bi were crying. When I tried to hug them goodbye my mom pushed me away and walked into the concession so that she would not have to watch me leave. Although I was upset by this action I knew that it was because she was ashamed to be crying in public and I was reassured when I saw her small, tear soaked face smiling through the back window as we pulled away. The ride back to Tubani So was a somewhat subdued trip relative to most of out chaotic car rides, as we all reminisced about our families. Although it was reliving to have one phase of our PC experience completed it was also hard to realize that we would now be embarking on the next phase alone.

The week at Tubani So flew by with days full of sessions, soccer games, yala-yalas, and soaking up as much time with the other PCTs as possible. I passed my language test with flying colors and helped give our final SED training presentation in Français with team Qwacker. The night before swearing in we had a talent show where the Keleya Kaw sang an edited version of Kelly Clarkson’s “Because of You”; dedicated to of course diarrhea and being sick in Mali. It was extremely ridiculous but we loved doing it, and it seemed to be well receipted by the rest of the group.

Friday morning September 12, 2008 finally came, the morning all seventy-three of us PCTs would formally become Peace Corps Volunteers, and members of the Honey Bunches of Oats stage. In my mind our swear-in day could not have been better. The ceremony was short but appropriate, with speeches in each of the studied languages, an address by U.S. ambassador to Mali and a representative of the Malian government. After the ceremony we were all bused to the America club and had a BBQ with actual hot dogs and cheese burgers and spent the day celebrating with swimming and volleyball. We had a large party that night and ended up staying at a hotel in Bamako with fourteen people sleeping in a conference room on the floor…… You have to love the Malian idea of a hotel.

Now, the day after swear in should have been a relaxing and enjoyable day since we were now officially volunteers and we had know scheduled formations. However midway through the day my body decided to revolt from it’s healthy state and contract a high fever. Needless to say the rest of the day was not spent as I had hoped, but rather in a feverish and wavering sleep. Luckily I have some amazing friends here, and I found someone to take care of me and sit with me until my fever broke. One of the hardest parts about being so far from home is being sick. The discomfort of any sickness is exacerbated by not being able to just be at home in your normal comfort zone.

The next morning I said my goodbyes, still not feeling well in the least bit, and headed onto the bus out Mopti. At the beginning there were about twenty of us on the same bus traveling east, but slowly we dwindled down to just eight who arrived in Sevare twelve hours later. It was difficult to say goodbye to everyone and watch them slowly filter out. I have depended on my fellow stagiers everyday, for the past two months, and I know that I am going to need their continuing support to make it through the next 3 months at site.

But even though it was difficult to leave it’s amusing for me to think about the bus ride now that I have done it three times. When I was in the states a five hour car ride seemed unbearable, yet here twelve hours is a reasonable ride. Do not get me wrong, it is far from a comfortable ride but I think that Mali has put a few matters into perspective for me already.

And now I have spent the past four days here in Sevare on “medical hold” by my PCMO because we finally concluded that I have a staff infection in my left ankle that has caused me to be sick for the past week. The infection, we think, was due to a grouping of mosquito bites that I may, or may not have itched raw…. You would suppose that I would know better than to scratch open a wound in Mali, seeing as it is truly the dirtiest place I have ever been, but I don’t. And although I have had more time here in Sevare than originally planned I think it has definitely been positive. There is no possible way I could have purchased everything I needed for my house in one day, and I am now feeling much more confident and comfortable with my installation.

Tomorrow morning I will make the short, yet difficult trip down to Djenne from Sevare, and will officially be installed into my site. I am extremely nervous for the moment when the Peace Corps vehicle drives away tomorrow, because it will mean I am in fact a volunteer and will need to begin my work. I have already been in touch with some of my closest friends here in Mali, who have already been installed and they felt lost only after a few hours. The bright side is I have an entire house to clean, decorate, and organize so I will be able to spend much of my alone time occupied with that. I also will be able to spend time with my host family who yet again do not speak anything other than Bambara; but it worked out well the last time so we will see.

Thank you for all of your wonderful emails and attempted calls. I love and miss you all, and this is the best time to contact me, because I know I will be needing it!

Go over, go under, go across, go through, go around. It doesn't matter how you get there, just never give up.

It’s hard to know where to begin. How can I even attempt to put into words what my life is here and who I am becoming? I know that the setting and people have changed, yet overall I am still just trying to live in the moment while balancing my goals and work in the near future. In four short days I will officially swear in as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and within the week be moving into my house in Djenne where I will live and work for the next two years. It’s amazing to me that I have already been in country for two months. It seems as though I just got here, yet at the same time that the amount of changes I have made and things I have seen should not fit into such a short allotment of time.
While talking with one of my roommates last night I came to the realization that I have not been necessarily entirely present here in Mali. Although I feel as though I am living here, and having new experiences daily, I am still trying to find the balance between moving on from the life I left at home and accepting my new life here. It’s as if my life at home has been paused, whilst everyone else’s life is on fast forward and flying by mine. What I hope to be able to do soon is transition into not needing to feel like I still have a life at home, and concentrate on my work and future here. I came to the conclusion that I can have my memories from home, and have the experiences which have shaped me, but still move on to a new place and new experiences; which is in a way a completely obvious idea yet difficult to wrap my head around.
I want so badly, while I am here, to be able to create an eloquent depiction of everything that is happening around me but every time I try I cannot find the right words to use. I have been trying to journal because I believe it will help me to better understand and interpret this new stage in my life, but yet again where does one begin? For now I will just have to write down and account for these new challenges, hoping that through my writing and thought that the life lessons will sink in and that I will be changed for the better.
The past three weeks have been an amazing journey which has given me my first real hands on, life lesson in country. I was able in the past two months to create a relationship with a family I could not communicate with in any language, and realize that they are now an intricate part of my life. Yesterday morning when I left my concession I had a true sense of accomplishment and contentment that I had made it through training and that I was prepared for the months ahead. Yet when I said goodbye to my host mother, and she cried for the first time since I arrived, I realized just how much we had impacted each other’s lives. The Peace Corps emphasizes just how important this integration is to our service and how strong these bonds can become, but I did not believe it would have been this simple, and could have happened so quickly. It is reassuring that I now know I am able to integrate, communicate, and make a difference and now I just need to take this experience and let it develop on a larger scale to help me in the next two years. I want to continue on and share everything which has happened in the past 3 weeks, however time is limited and I wanted to share more of my feelings and thoughts at the present moment. It seems tedious in a way to recall the events in my life because to me they no longer seem out of the ordinary. And I know that in the future I will be able to remember those events which occurred while here, and at home stay, but recalling my emotions and thoughts will be much more difficult.

Soon I hope to be able to write more posts pertaining to the events happening here, those people who are helping me along the way and my sense of faith and its development here. But at the present moment I have neither the time nor patience to sit at a computer for an even longer period of time, while I could be taking in Africa.